Top 5 Things Tyler and I Do Not Have in Common

I love Tyler, but sometimes I wonder how someone I love so much can be so different from me. We get along well and have lots in common, but not everything. These are 5 things that are very important to me that he does not like at all. You figure it out, I’m still mystified.

1.) Going to bookstores, especially Barnes and Noble

2.) Reading (see Number 1)

3.) Breakfast, which everyone knows is the best meal of the day

4.) Healthy food (especially turkey versions of anything)

5.) Dark beer


6.) Playing word games (such as Scrabble and Boggle)

7.) Coffee (yes, he is insane)


Common interests are important to a relationship, but this helped me realize early on that it’s okay for me to have interests and passions my husband does not share. He also does not care for sewing, crafting, or any of the Martha Stewart-esque activities that fill my day. He doesn’t like writing but he is supportive of mine. Occasionally I wish he’d be more interested in discussing literature with me, but I know other people that do want to discuss novels, so this need is satisfied. Sometimes when people are single, they brainstorm a list of qualities they hope their future partner will possess. I think this is a good practice and did it myself, although it took a while for my list to evolve to include things like, “caring, funny, and dependable” instead of “excellent musician, runner, and stylish dresser.” It’s interesting to realize that when someone possesses the right qualities, the rest is just different ways of wrapping the same beautiful package. Tyler likes golf, video games, and watching TV. I never would have thought I’d pick someone with those hobbies, but likewise, he probably didn’t think he’d marry a figure skating, violin playin’, computer-geeky crafter with a baking obsession.

Still, I wish he’d get more excited about breakfast and about books… the rest I can live without but I really love those things. ; )


6 thoughts on “Top 5 Things Tyler and I Do Not Have in Common

  1. Many years ago one of my good friends told me that she realized that her husband would never satisfy her need for intellectual conversations in the way she always imagined her partner would. Instead she got that stimulation from the group of girls (and craft club was born!). I always thought I needed someone who would share my passions: marching at the capitol with the ACLU or spending hours discussing religion. When she said that it really hit home for me that my partner doesn’t have to be EVERYTHING to me. I stopped looking for men who have all the same interests – I call these details – and started looking for character. Just as you said – dependable, funny, caring. These are the important things – not if you like to hike or listen to neo soul.

  2. I thought so, too, but the less coffee he drinks, the MORE THERE IS FOR ME. If I buy something at Starbucks, our bill is $3 not $7. If I make a pot of coffee, I drink a pot of coffee. Initially I really thought I would convert him. I’ve converted a bunch of non-drinkers… but 3 years later and nothin’.

    He *has* learned how to fix my coffee when we go to Panera or wherever – so he can deliver a perfect cup. Next up, getting him trained to brew at home ; ).

  3. I know just what you mean. My hubby doesn’t like to read either. Or piano music, figure skating, or coffee. Nor does he ‘get’ the crafty stuff, scrapbooking and card making, or sewing. (He also doesn’t eat breakfast, and doesn’t care for “breakfast for dinner”.) The hardest thing for me to deal with though is none of those things. He is a VERY picky eater, and doesn’t try new foods or accept the small changes that come with tweaking old favorites.

  4. Haha, so Tyler has a few things he wants to say. First of all, he said I was wrong: he DID know he was going to marry someone who was good at baking and crafts, but that the figure skating part was a surprise. Although, it can’t be that much of a surprise- he dated 2 ballerinas, a music theatre person, and a woman who is now on television for a career, so he must like performers ; )

    He also has taken this as a personal mission to prove me wrong and brought breakfast home today so we could eat it together.

    This truly wasn’t my goal, but how can I complain about fresh bagels and coffee?

    Stephanie- that would be really frustrating! Is it all steak and potatoes for you or do you ever fix two meals- one for him and one for you? Are the girls as picky?

  5. I don’t fix two meals. Usually I fix vegetables and sometimes a salad for the girls and I to eat along with the meat and potatos part. He will eat some pasta, lasagna (but not homemade lasagna, he prefers the Stouffers frozen) or spaghetti, alfredo, etc. If I make something new that he REALLY doesn’t like he’s free to eat leftovers or make a sandwich, which he has done a time or two. That was the night I discovered that he really, really, doesn’t like mustard in any form as an ingredient. Not even a little tiny bit mixed in a sauce. If I want something that I know he won’t eat I just make it for lunch. Taco soup, fish, meatless dishes, etc. Sarah is going through a pickier phase right now. She has decided she doesn’t like the “crust” on chicken strips, etc. And she usually won’t eat chunks of tomatoes, cooked or raw. Her favorite vegetable right now is broccoli (cooked or raw), and she has always loved peas, so I’m not too worried about it. She’s usually pretty good about trying new stuff, she knows she has to eat at least two bites of everything on her plate. I have pictures of her eating her first calamari, which she absolutely loved! I have no worries about Emily. She will eat pretty much anything she can get her hands on, and a lot of it! I told him before Sarah was born that I didn’t expect him to magically start eating veggies etc. when we had kids but that I had better never hear him say anything negative about them, or make faces. Sarah always asks him if he wants some and he just tells her “not right now”. 🙂

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