I don’t feel like doing anything today. I’m at work, and hence am working, but don’t want to. I don’t want to go to the gym. I don’t want to do homework. I don’t even want to do anything fun. I just want to lie down – on the couch, in the bed, even on the floor and do nothing. Nothing at all. It’s fine if the tv is on, but I honestly wouldn’t mind just lying still and letting the silence lull my mind to sleep.
If I had to do something, I would work on my book. I am nearly finished with rewrite No. 2. Toward the end, I realized a bunch of super important stuff and rewrite No. 3 is going to change the shape of the story tremendously. Hopefully, for the better. But it’s a lot of work and I need to wrap my mind around what I want so that I can shape what I have to fit. I also need to free myself from the idea of “keeping” prose I’ve “worked so hard on” – because if it’s not great and if it doesn’t advance the story, I need to lose it. It doesn’t matter that I spent hours and hours on it – that was part of the process.
Anyway, it’s a lot of work – compounded by the difficulty of working only for an hour or so a couple of days a week. The lack of continuity and focus makes it incredibly difficult to do any sort of high quality writing in a substantial quantity.
Complain, complain. We’ve all got busy lives, I know. I’ll either figure out how to devote more time to writing or I won’t… Shrug!
I am going to go try to organize my thoughts a little better before I get back to website updates, etc. etc.!